To Calm a Raging Tempest
Dec. 3rd, 2014 04:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
azure7539Title: To Calm a Raging Tempest
Author: azure7539
Pairing: Harry Potter/ Severus Snape
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Rating: PG
Summary: Harry's way of calming down his distraught lover.
Warning: None.
Disclaimer: I own none of these characters, they all rightfully belong to J.K.Rowling. I made no profit from this.
A/N: First story in the HP fandom. Unbeta-ed, so all faults are my own. I am looking for a beta, though. And if anyone is interested, please message me! I would appreciate it a lot!
This story, or any other stories that follow it, will not have made it here without your vigorous encouragementspekeleke, and I thank you for that.
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Sometimes, he would lose his cool and started shouting, snarling, hurling things across the room.
He would scream that he hated this life, hated this situation he- we- were in, hated me, and hated himself. He would scream while clinging to the hope that it would frustrate me, with all the sudden outbursts and everything, and that, eventually, I would get tired and leave him.
His body would tremble with pent-up energy and emotions from the inner turmoil I knew existed constantly within his mind. It was destroying him, quite literally, from the inside out. Therefore, I considered these outbursts as his way of finding release, and so, rather than feeling angry by them, I was actually much more relieved, which I supposed went completely against the reaction he had initially aimed for. I had always found the thought quite amusing.
And I would stand there, staying mostly quiet and waiting, waiting for him to tire himself out, sometimes patiently, sometimes not.
Then when the time came, he would crumble to the floor below on his knees, panting and burying his face into the palms of his hands as the tremors coursed freely through his frail and battered body, something which I had been trying to improve as of late. He still ate too little in my opinion though, but it had gotten better somewhat with time and coaxing on my part.
He would fight it, without a doubt, when I approached and knelt down to wrap my arms around his form. He would with every ounce of energy he had gotten left inside, though, truth be told, it didn't really hurt. Not at all, not when there was no fire left to fuel it. I wasn't certain whether he was aware of this or not. However, knowing how much he appreciated what little control he had left of his 'pitiful existence' (as he had called it), it would be in everyone's best interest for me to keep this to myself.
His fists collided with my chest, hitting it again and again, while struggling to get away from my embrace. I held on as tightly as I could without hurting him any further, feeling the lump in my throat swelling as his voice slowly broke, and that beautifully flawed body trembled more violently than ever before as his resolve came apart...
My hand wove through his hair, gently massaging his scalp, and whispered sweet nothing softly into his ear. He would hate it, surely, later on after this frantic haze had settled down into a quiet grumble, simpering below the surface. He would say that he wasn't a child to be pampered with like that, and he would deny deriving any comfort at all from this though we both knew clearly what the truth here was.
I would rub circles into his back, attempting to loosen the strained muscles, rocking back and forth, and continuing to keep him close. On a good day, he would calm down after a while and would fall asleep out of exhaustion. On a particularly bad day, he would cry until his body gave out under the stress, slipping into a fitful sleep. It was heart-wrenching every time I felt those hot droplets seep through my shirt as he quietly sobbed with his bony fingers digging into my back almost painfully. Painful because there was so little I could do to ease his deep dark despair. Even in the moments where his being was finally unraveling, he was still holding back.
"Shhh, it's okay, it's okay" I crooned and planted a small watery kiss onto his tear-stained cheek. "I love you, Severus. I love you, too."
-
End~
no subject
Date: 2014-12-03 11:21 pm (UTC)Welcome to the journals, my friend. I hope you find as many lovely friends in their associated communities as I've found myself.
You already know my thoughts on this story, so I won't burden you with them again. I just wanted you to know that seeing your post here made my day a whole lot brighter. :)
Good luck!
Hugs
pekeleke
no subject
Date: 2014-12-04 08:05 pm (UTC)Thank you again, I hope that I will find new friends, too. You have been my wonderful first friend, and I think that's an amazing start for this journey (quite lucky as it seems :D)
And I will always welcome your thoughts, they delight rather than burden me :D
Good luck to you, too!
Love,
azure~
no subject
Date: 2014-12-04 02:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-12-04 08:11 pm (UTC)Thank you again for commenting, I appreciate it a lot!
Have a nice day,
azure~
no subject
Date: 2014-12-04 05:54 pm (UTC)One typo: depriving -----> deriving
I would offer beta services, but at the moment I'm swamped! Ask me again in January. :)
no subject
Date: 2014-12-04 08:24 pm (UTC)Thank you, firstly, for your wonderful review :D I'm glad you enjoyed the images I managed to slip inside there despite the vague situation. I, too, can see this happening to Severus. He has governed his whole existence up until the Final Battle in an iron fist, and, to me, such tight control cannot last forever. It has to crumble one of these days, and I want him to have someone there to bear witness to that and pick up the pieces afterward for him (generally, I just want the man to have someone to love him; he deserves that much). And I sincerely hope that Harry's love can start easing the pain and patching up the wounds as well.
Secondly, thank you for pointing out that typo to me, I've gone back and fixed it already :D I usually overlook details like that whenever I go back to proofread it, and it can get infuriating at times.
Finally, thank God, you are the first person to offer your beta services to me. I searched in vain with no real hope of getting any results at all and have been contemplating resigning to my fate of proofreading and editing alone. Therefore, thank you, I'll ask again in January, if you're free, then you'll have me tagging along with you for a very long time.
Sorry, that got a little long. Anyway, I thank you again for reviewing, pointing out a typo, and offering your services to me!
Love,
azure~
no subject
Date: 2014-12-04 09:02 pm (UTC)margaret.erlandson AT gmail
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Date: 2014-12-08 09:02 pm (UTC)I'm so, so sorry for the late reply, my laptop crashed and things had been too hectic in last few days for me to do much of anything.
Your offer thrills me, but, since I'm entirely new to this, I'm not sure of the acceptable length or word-count for a short ficlet. Same as above, or can it be longer?
Again, thank for all your help, and I'm sorry for my tardiness!
Love,
azure~
no subject
Date: 2014-12-08 09:11 pm (UTC)Word length right now would be 2000 words or less, something I could easily edit in 30 minutes. Come January, any length will be fine.
no subject
Date: 2014-12-08 10:34 pm (UTC)I have sent an email to you with my next ficlet, a bit longer than this one, but it's within the 2000-word limit :)
The email I used to send it is: azure7539 at gmail
Because I have been having internet issues, it might or might not have been gotten through even though it's labeled as 'sent' in my mailbox. Therefore, if you don't see it appearing, please tell me so I'll resend it back to you.
Thank you!
no subject
Date: 2014-12-04 08:30 pm (UTC)I admit that I usually do not like stories told in the first person view. (Obviously I am not the protagonist)
But nevertheless I enjoyed your story very much. And I can say that I like your version of Harry and Severus very much. Thanks for sharing, and hopefully there will be those above mentioned sequels? ;)
no subject
Date: 2014-12-08 08:52 pm (UTC)I apologize for the tardiness, my laptop crashed at a very inopportune moment, so I can't reply any sooner than this.
I'm glad that you enjoyed my story despite not being that into first-person POV. I have to say that I myself don't particularly like first-person narrative, it limits the perspective down to the narrow view of one person alone, and I found I'm not comfortable with that. Still, I don't understand why I decided to write this ficlet using it either *laughs*. Maybe I wanted to give myself a challenge and see if I've still got the knack for it or not.
Anyway, thank you again for your lovely review, there will be more ficlets to come with similar premises to this (I can't get enough of writing Harry and Severus like this, I can assure you that), but I'm sad to say that no, I don't think there will be a sequel to this one in the foreseeable future. I apologize for misleading you.
Have a nice day!
Love,
azure~